Money Talk: Advice for Supporting Challenged Son
Question: My son, who is almost 50, is mentally and emotionally challenged. He has been unemployed and homeless for years. Although not a criminal, he’s been in jail a few times because of his explosive, combative nature.
There seems to be no help for him in the state where he lives. I do send a few dollars for his basic needs when I can, but must be careful with my budget. Do you have any tips that might be helpful in this situation?
Answer: You’re living with a heartbreaking situation. You want to help, but given your age and financial circumstances your ability to do so is limited. Unless you set some boundaries, you could run through your savings and possibly wind up homeless yourself.
You’ll find some helpful resources at the National Alliance on Mental Illness (www.nami.org), which offers information and, in many locations, support groups for families. Another place to find comfort, insights and suggestions would be a 12-step group for co-dependency, such as Co-Dependents Anonymous(www.coda.org), Al-Anon (www.al-anon.org) and Nar-Anon (www.nar-anon.org).
Substance abuse often accompanies mental illness, so you may find it helpful to talk to others who have dealt with problem drinkers (Al-Anon) or addicts (Nar-Anon).
Every state has at least some resources for the mentally ill. You can start your search at MentalHealth.gov to see what might be available where your son lives and let him know the options.
But as the members of any support group will tell you, you cannot fix another human being or force him to change. What you can do is to take care of yourself.
Question: My husband and I both have employer-sponsored 403(b) retirement plans. We each also have a Roth IRA, and I have a traditional IRA that I started in the 1980s before I started work with my current employer.
I do not actively contribute to this traditional IRA as I am contributing the maximum amount allowed into both my Roth IRA and my 403(b) plan. My husband is also maxing out on his Roth and 403(b).
We are both in our 50s. Should I contribute anything into my traditional IRA? Should I see if I can roll it into my 403(b)? Or roll it into my Roth? Our adjusted gross income is high enough where I would not be able to take the deduction if I did start contributing. Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
Answer: If you can’t get a tax deduction for your contributions, then putting the money in a Roth IRA is usually the better option — assuming, of course, that your income is under the Roth limits (which it sounds like it is).
Nondeductible contributions reduce the income taxes owed on any withdrawals from a traditional IRA, but withdrawals from a Roth can be entirely tax-free.
If you have a good, low-cost 403(b), rolling your traditional IRA into it could be a good choice. It would be one less account for you to have to monitor and coordinate with your other savings.
You won’t be able to roll your traditional IRA into a Roth without triggering a (possibly hefty) tax bill. The older you are, the harder it is to make a good argument for a Roth conversion, but that’s an issue you should take up with a tax pro.
Question: Can you tell us what the status is of the Social Security system? Will the money that I and my employers have paid into the system be there for me when I need it in 15 or 20 years?
Answer: The money you pay into the system provides benefits for current retirees. When you’re retired, other workers will provide the money for your benefits. It isn’t a retirement plan where you contribute money that you later withdraw. It’s an insurance fund to protect you against poverty in old age.
The Social Security system isn’t about to disappear. The depletion of its trust funds is expected in 2033, but that doesn’t mean Social Security will go out of business.
The system will continue to receive enough in payroll taxes from current workers to pay 77 percent of promised benefits. So even if Congress doesn’t get its act together to make necessary and sensible reforms, you’ll still get a check.
If Congress does get its act together, the reforms probably will affect younger workers more than those close to retirement.
For more on how Social Security works and its benefits, read Get What’s Yours: The Secrets to Maxing Out Your Social Security by Laurence Kotlikoff, Philip Moeller and Paul Solman.
Liz Weston is the author of The 10 Commandments of Money: Survive and Thrive in the New Economy . Questions for possible inclusion in her column may be sent to 3940 Laurel Canyon, No. 238, Studio City, Calif. 91604, or by email at firstname.lastname@example.org. Distributed by No More Red Inc.